Budapest, March 20, 2005

After publishing a few articles in a popular on-line daily, writings which were critical of Mr Bush's 'war on terror' and the return of the fallen dictatorship's nomenclature to power in Hungary, I received a 'friendly worded' message from an old friend of mine. He is now one of the leaders of the 'SZDSZ' - the Association of Free Democrats, a political party, which likes to define itself as 'liberal' and is part of the governing coalition with the Hungarian Socialist Party, the 'democratic'  successor of the former ruling Communist Party. In his message, my  friend, who was one of the fiercest defenders of free press and free expression during the years of Communist dictatorship (he even spent time in prison, in the 1970s, for publishing an un-authorized book), warned me that if I keep on writing such articles - and his political opponents (whom he branded as 'fascists') - pick me up, I would suffer serious consequences.

Shortly after receiving this message, the on-line daily to which I was a semi-regular contributor for years, stopped publishing my articles. So did most of the other printed and on-line publications I wrote for. No editor would tell me why my work was no longer acceptable. They just stopped answering my e-mailed inquires or returning my phone calls. I've learned from the grape-vine, from journalist friends (who asked me to keep the information private), that I had been put on the Free Democrats' secret blacklist. This list supposedly contains the names of those, whom the party considers unfit for publication in the government controlled media. It's been well over a year, since I have received the warning. I could publish only one article during this past period, while previously I could place 8-10 writings a month in different media-organs. My old friend, who sent me the original warning and probably had a hand in banning me from the liberal media, has become an EU official in the meantime. He is now in charge of free press matters worldwide. George Orwell would have a field day if he could observe the goings on in 21st century Hungary. One timeless expert on East European psyche, Franz Kafka would probably just nod his head, and say: "I told you so".

There is no independent media in Hungary, a country deeply divided among political lines. The largest segment of the media, which includes printed and on-line publications, the public television and most of the commercial TV and radio stations as well, is under liberal-socialist control. The remaining, much smaller segment of the media belongs to the opposition parties. Journalists, who are working for these so called 'right wing' outlets are also expected to tow party lines, serving the needs of the parties currently in opposition. The few independent publications, which were born after the system change fifteen years ago, either ceased to exist in the past 4-5 years, in lieu of well paying government ads and public grants (Wanted magazine, the bahia.hu and korridor.hu portals), or were taken over by the Socialist-Liberal coalition (which was the fate of Magyar Narancs, once the flagship of Hungarian alternative politics and culture). From the view point of independent journalism the system-change 15 years ago resulted in little else, but switching from a one party system to the dictatorship of politics.

Criticism of U.S. foreign policy is one of the taboo-themes in the liberal and government controlled media in Hungary. Those, who dare to oppose the spreading of 'democracy' by methods of war are routinely branded as 'fascists', or 'supporters of terrorism', by liberal journalists. It's all very similar to the darkest years of Communist dictatorship, the 1950s, when suspected opponents of the dictator Mathias Rakosi were given the same label. (Under the 'soft' communism of his successor, Janos Kadar, opponents were merely labelled 'insane'.) One explanation for the Association of Free Democrats' fondness for the 'f' word is that many of the party's founders came from families of the old Communist aristocracy. They've probably learned to brand their opponents 'extremists' from their parents, at home. A growing number of people in Hungary think that there was no 'system-change' in 1989, but rather a 'generation-change', as siblings of the former rulers took power from their parents and relatives.

The 'system-change' in Hungary was largely financed by Mr. George Soros's Open Society Foundation, which provided the seed money for the newly formed political parties. The Association of Free Democrats benefited most from Mr. Soros's munificence. In addition to receiving generous financial support, they have received most teaching positions in the Budapest based Central European University - which was created and is still financed by Soros's Open Society Foundation, to teach and promote democracy worldwide, - and the Foundation's curatoriums were staffed mostly by this party's members and affiliates. Politics often makes strange bed-fellows. It is hard to fathom, how a so-called 'liberal' party, such as the SZDSZ, can be such an unconditional supporter of the religious-fundamentalist, right-wing, neo-conservative government of Mr. Bush, especially because the Free Democrats are so closely associated with the Open Society Foundation of George Soros, who is one of the strongest public opponents of the current American President and his violent, Imperial arrogance. But in the Orwellian world that is the Hungary of 2005, perhaps, on reflection,  a party of illiberal liberals makes perfect sense after all.

Laszlo Najmanyi
The author of the article is a writer and an artist

 
Note: I wrote this article to the request of Mr. Seumas Milne, a journalist of the Guardian, a British liberal paper. The article hasn't been published by the Guardian, as yet. I haven't heard neither from the Guardian's Editor in charge, nor from Mr. Milne since I sent the article to him.

October 17, 2005.
NL

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They say that about 700,000 people, or 7% of the total population of 10 million, worked for or collaborated with the State Security Bureau, the feared secret police in Hungary, during the years of Communist dictatorship. Other, more official sources, which are not necessarily more reliable than the unofficial ones in this part of the world, set this number at 200,000 or 2% of the population. No outsider knows the exact number of the former secret police officers, agents and informers in Hungary, because their identities, twelve years after the fall of Communism, are still kept as state secrets. Yet the identities of many of the citizens, whom these agents and snitches were spying on, have been released for 'research', along with some of the collected information on them.

Several metric tons of top-secret files were destroyed by State Security employees before they were caught in action in 1989-90. Still, hundreds of thousands of secret reports, which often contain detailed information on the 'target person's' private life, are available for public scrutiny. Practically anybody can get a research permit to the archives where the bulk of the reports are being kept. Despite the fact that the release of this information is against the Privacy Law, excerpts from these documents -with the reporting agent's name either coded or carefully blacked out- frequently surface in the media, in the printed press, in books, and on the Internet. Yet it is virtually impossible to defend oneself against this kind of intrusion in present day Hungary, due to the fact that the average citizen, with no official connections, simply doesn't have the resources to spend years in court and a fortune in attorney's fees to seek justice through the notoriously slow Hungarian legal system. Furthermore, even if the citizen were to win the case, it is unlikely that he or she could get any substantial compensation from the journalists or 'researchers' whom infringed on their privacy rights by releasing or publishing this  information. It is simply too easy to conceal one's assets in Hungary. If found guilty and sentenced to pay financial compensation to the victims of their unlawful indiscretion, the defendants would just declare themselves unable to pay. Filing suit against newspapers, magazines, publishers is also pointless. Unless the complainant is well connected, famous and wealthy enough to hire expert counsel, the guilty publishers, as a rule, get away with a slap on the wrist. At worst, the court may sentence them to publish some mildly worded confessions and perhaps an apology,  which in the end only  focuses more attention on  the illegally published documents.

They say that the system change in Hungary twelve years ago, was largely conducted by the collapsed regime's secret police. They assigned agents to all of the newly formed political parties, left to right, in numbers hard to guess. Some sources claim that 80% of the representatives in the country's first freely elected Parliament were former State Security employees. Other sources talk about 30%. The exact number of the Communist secret agents in the Parliament and in the four successive governments since the system change will never come to light, due to the sheer quantity of shredded agents' lists and other destroyed top-secret documents. Yet we can estimate their formidable bargaining power from the fact that no former secret police employee was ever put on trial, even though for decades they tortured and killed thousands of citizens and controlled and destroyed the lives of millions. Some low ranking army officers -miserable, ailing old men by now- were put on trial in recent years for ordering their troops to fire on demonstrating civilians during the revolution in 1956, but even the most notorious torturers and killers were let go free if they were on the former State Security Bureau's payroll. "That was the price we had to pay for our freedom", Hungarians often say. Others believe that the same shadowy, ruthless organization still runs their government and the economy, an organization which has held total power over the country ever since the last World War.

The abolished State Security Bureau had huge hidden assets at the start of Hungarian democracy. They were the best financed branch of the government, with a secret budget. They had cash, gold, foreign currency, valuable properties, a well-equipped communication system and a great arsenal of sophisticated spying devices. They employed the best experts in the country, and had a network of collaborators in all walks of life. They infiltrated the legal system. They also had connections to the big players in the economy, and to the underworld ...to big time gangsters, hitmen and professional burglars, and to networks of international terrorists whom they gave shelter to in the 1970s. They maintained both legitimate and illegitimate contacts with politicians and high-ranking intelligence officers of foreign powers, on both sides of the crumbling Iron Curtain. In additon, they were supported by a talented army of paid, or blackmailed journalists and media personalities, who spread false information to conceal the facts about the spy-organization's past and present activities.

With such an overwhelming advantage against the amateurish opposition forces (who were sponsored almost solely by the international financier, Mr. George Soros's Open Society Foundation), the former State Security operatives could easily re-establish their network after the fall of Communism. They were street-smart. They were used to having power. They knew how to get it and they knew how to perpetuate it. They had no intention of giving it up. In the classic scenario, the best way to assure their own, and their children's and relatives' future security, to reward their friends and collaborators, and to control others, was to place them in various positions within the secret network, making them politicians, media professionals or heads of industry, etc. If only 30% of the young Hungarian democracy's politicians were former secret police agents twelve years ago, it is hard to see why their proportion in Hungarian public life would have been reduced over the past years. If anything, their numbers have most likely increased, as more and more relatives and friends were rewarded within the network.

The entire Hungarian infrastructure: industry, financial institutions,the media, all natural resources and most of the agricultural sector were state owned under Communism. The privatization of these assets started under the last Communist government, in the final years of the 1980's. Most of the assets the government sold (often for a fragment of their market value) in the first wave of privatization, went to buyers well connected to the government, to Party apparatchiks, to Party appointed factory directors, to local Party secretaries and to their relatives and close friends. Most of them were entrepreneurs by that time, had substantial wealth tucked away and had access to bank credits on the merits of their Party ties. The person in charge of starting up privatization in Hungary was Mr. Peter Medgyessy, the Minister of Finances, later Deputy Prime Minister of the last Communist government. 

A number of top secret police files were stolen from the supposedly closely guarded state-archives, in the chaos of the system change or later, under the successive post-Communist governments. Time to time some of these compromising documents find their way to the press, for the purpose of blackmailing a particular political or business competitor. Recently such stolen file, a secret police recruitment sheet was published in one of the right-wing newspapers. It was a direct proof that the newly elected Socialist Prime Minister of the country, Mr. Peter Medgyessy, an economist and an internationally known banker, the so called 'father of Hungarian privatization', was a secret State Security officer for several years, starting from the 1970s. His code-name was D-209. Mr. Medgyessy confirmed to the Parliament that the accusations were indeed true. While working for the Ministry of Finances as an economist, he was contracted by the State Security Bureau, to secretly work for them, as a counter-spy, in charge of keeping sensitive economic information from foreign intelligence, including the KGB. He has allegedly never spied on his fellow Hungarians, and closed his contract with the State Security agency in 1982, when he became the Deputy Minister of Finances, in Hungary's last Communist government. Up until the end of the Communist dictatorship in the country, he was still receiving confidential, daily reports from the secret police. Mr. Medgyessy claims he never read these reports, which often included sensitive information on the system's real or supposed enemies.

Mr. Medgyessy is a smooth, elegant, clean-faced figure. He looks and behaves the part of an international banker. He has a nice smile and wears well tailored suits. D-209 is the wealthiest Prime Minister the country has ever had. He lives in a large, comfortable mansion, up in the hills, high above the scenic Hungarian capital. On one of the PR shots, which was published in the Socialist press during the last election campaign, he is emerging from his pool, in his swimming trunks. He looks trim, muscular, decades younger than his age. He is not a good public speaker, however. He does have a problem with words, just as some male members of the American Bush family do. While he might be verbally fit to quiet board room dealings, he is visibly terrified and his tongue often stumbles when he must address crowds. A right-wing magazine ran a column with the new Prime Minister's strange sayings, like "I support poverty", which he said in his opening speech to the newly elected Hungarian Parliament in June, 2002. He meant "I support the poor", of course, but the damage was done. The nationalist opposition was all over the media in an instant, declaring themselves to have been right all along in warning the voters throughout the election campaign that a secret network of ex-Communist, international bankers who were totally insensitive to the problems of the average Hungarian, would take over the country if people elected a Socialist government. 

As a direct result of the D-209 scandal, the governing parties proposed new laws, which would make the release of the complete list of former State Security employees, who were elected as representatives to the Parliament, or were in government in the past twelve years of post-Communist Hungary legally possible. They proposed to release the names of secret police agents among the country's public figures, religious leaders and prominent journalists as well. At one point there were even Socialist promises to make the full agents' lists public, so ordinary citizens could learn which relative, friend, neighbour was reporting on them to the authorities. Nevertheless, if the new laws come into effect, the former agents will still enjoy immunity from prosecution for their past activities. The proposed legislation will come up for a vote in the Fall 2002 session of Parliament. Legal experts are already warning the politicians against such laws, even against searching the secret archives. They say, that allowing such a search and passing these laws would hurt the former agents' Constitutional rights to privacy. Furthermore, such laws could be interpreted as retro-active, for they would criminalize people for past deeds, which were perfectly legal at the time.

Two Parliamentary committees were formed: one to investigate the Prime Minister's activities while he was in the ranks of the State Security Bureau and the other to identify all the former State Security employees and collaborators in government, in the course of the past 12 years. Every so often numbers slip out of the secrecy of Committee hearings. The last rumored numbers say that between 9 to 15 former State Security agents served in the four consecutive governments since the system change. According to the rumors the largest number of them were positioned in the right-wing governments of 1990-1994 and 1998 - 2002. If the rumors are true, it might well be that the fall of the right-wing coalition in the last election was the inside work of these active bricks in the Nationalist walls. Yet again, the real numbers we'll never know- there are too many 'missing files'. Hungarians can be sure of one thing: even if the Parliament votes for the release of the complete agents' lists to the public, some 'missing files' will keep on popping up for many years to come, as opponents  try to compromise or blackmail  their foes in business or politics. The Ghost of Communism is going to haunt the country well after the last of the Old Guard is gone.

A feverish public debate on the spy-question has dominated the Hungarian media throughout the summer of 2002. It is providing an absurd spectacle for those who can stomach such orgy of lies and counter-lies. A former State Security officer, now a star reporter on television, interviews his former secret agent colleagues, who are now politicians. Some talk about their spy-past, saying that they've never caused any harm to anyone, but saved many people and served the nation's interests instead. Others are blatantly denying the accusations. The bishop, who once snitched on his flock, who regularly reported on his fellow clergymen and on confidential matters of the Vatican, is now preaching about higher moral standards, calling up all believers to vote against the Godless leftists. He then  blesses his own victims, and gives them penitence for his own sins, as they kiss his hand. Former secret police agents, snitches and their children, spouses, lovers, parents, relatives, friends, all of them freely elected representatives in Parliament, debate the anti-agent laws. The actors of this absurdist play are very well paid and get hefty tax-free perks too, all from the taxpayers' money. Yet here they are, still in power, still determining the fate of this country and its people, just as they did for half a century during the dictatorship. No former State Security employee has ever publicly apologized for the dark crimes they and their organization committed against their fellow countrymen and women. Mr. Medgyessy declared that he is proud of his past!

During the 2002 election campaign, agent D-209, Mr. Medgyessy, was promoted by his Party as an exceptionally knowledgeable and talented financial expert. In his hearing to the Parliamentary committee, which is investigating his secret past, the Prime Minister proudly reminded the committee's members of the positive role he played in establishing Capitalism in the country. The fact is that the sorry performance of Mr. Medgyessy, the last Communist Minister of Finance, and that of his his 'financial and economic expert' colleagues, led the country to the brink of bankruptcy by the end of the 1980s. They ran a virtual economy on borrowed money for decades. They borrowed so much that Hungarians are still heavily taxed, to cover the old debts and interests the country owes to foreign banks.  In addition,the country has had to sell a substantial slice of  its assets to foreign companies, at ridiculously low prices, so it can keep on paying off the loans.

"Up until 1987, I still believed that the Communist system could be reformed", Mr. Medgyessy somberly replied to a question from the President of the investigation committee.  Yet to most Hungarians, by 1977, a full ten years before D-209 lost faith in Communism, it was pretty obvious that the system, with all those senseless laws and regulations, with all its built-in inefficiencies, with all those dilettantes who were running it, could not possibly stand on its own without the Soviet Union's military support. If Mr. Medgyessy, a professional economist, supplied with all data, power and resources needed to make reliable estimates, did not see the bubble bursting until it was too late... if he woke up to the bad news only well after the ordinary citizens did, this fact alone would lead to questions of his competence in the fields of finances and economy. The system promptly collapsed as soon as Mr. Gorbachev gave the go-ahead sign in 1989-1990. The economy was in ruins by the end of Communist rule, yet the so called 'experts,' who by their ineptitude,  directly caused the crash, immediately got jobs in key positions of the country's new economy and became rich in the process of the system change.

The right-wing coalition -the Parliamentary opposition to D-209 and his Socialist party- is also spiked with former Communist State Security operatives, their friends, relatives and affiliates. They play on the nationalist string, which can always be counted on to produce mass emotional responses in the region. They too claim to be 'experts' in economic matters and governmental sciences, but their rule, from 1998 to 2002 will be remembered more for its arrogant style and for the daring and underhanded privatization of anything and everything that was previously state-owned, which gave the taxpayer's money and the country's remaining assets to themselves and to their cohorts. They also managed to scare away foreign investors with their open disregard for free market economy. In theory the Hungarian voters must face a serious dilemma in the upcoming regional elections. There are no real alternatives for them to chose from. They can vote either for D-209 and his 'expert' team of Socialists, or for D-008 and his group of national anthem-singing, flag-waving, folk-dancing, former State Security agent 'economic and political geniuses'. 

One would think that the Hungarian voters, disillusioned by all the spy-stuffed political parties and the successive inefficient, uncaring  governments would stay away from the elections in droves, but that's not the case. Over 70% of the eligible voters participated in the 2002 Parliamentary elections. If the rumors are true and hundreds of thousands of people worked for the State Security Bureau during Communism, the number of their relatives, friends and affiliates can run up to many millions by now, possibly representing the majority of Hungary's population. This high number of secret police-connected people among the voters could explain the large participation rate in the last elections. Could it be that the people, hoping for under-the-table hand-outs, voted for the particular secret agents they are personally related to or affiliated with, regardless of which party the former agents are presently nesting in? Could it be that the race is between competing tribes, which spontaneously formed around groups of spies and snitches? Can Hungarian politics be described as a -sometimes bitter, other times mischievious- rivalry between different surviving and prospering departments of the ill-reputed former State Security Bureau?  According to the polls, the popularity of Mr. Medgyessy and his Socialist Party sharply increased since the Prime Minister's spy-past became publicly known. If the elections were held today, the Socialist/Liberal coalition would win with a much larger margin than the one they won with last April. 

While all ranks of former Communist secret agents, intelligence officers, snitches and collaborators of the terrorist dictatorship are  riding high into the 21st century in Hungary, life for their surviving victims hasn't changed much. They still have to deal with the omnipotent, corrupt, Prussian/Byzantine type state bureaucracy, which incomprehensibly grew even larger since the system change. There are suprisingly 30% more bureaucrats in the country than there were under the Communists! A maze of senseless laws and regulations make people's lives difficult and make doing business in this country extremely cumbersome. Yet the countless, often contradictory laws and regulations are useless in reducing the rampant corruption and crime. Hungarians are paying one of the highest taxes in Europe. The Hungarian taxes are comparable to as of the Scandinavian countries. Yet Hungarians earn only 5-10% of what their counterparts in the European Union countries make, and they receive much less benefits from the government.

Surveys say that only about 4% of the total population fared well with the system change. The quality of life for the remaining 96% of Hungarians is either the same, or worse than what they had under the previous system. Those who lived through the red dictatorship must now deal with the psychological consequences of having been terrorized during the evil years. Many of them also have to face the fact that not long ago some of their colleagues at work, some of their friends, maybe even their spouses or relatives were spying on them. Their physical health is as bad as their soul is sick. A disproportionate number of people suffer from alcoholism, depression and other mental problems.  Hungary has the highest cancer rates in Europe and one of the lowest life expectancies. The occurrence of heart diseases and stress related illnesses is also very high, along with the number of suicides. The country's public health system is near to collapse. It can't handle the ongoing public health-crisis. The hospitals are grossly understaffed, under equipped, the doctors and nurses are overworked and underpaid. Worst of all, as one of the main legacies of Communism, the country is suffering a meltdown of ethical standards, which include deteriorated work and business ethics, as well as the disappearance of basic rules of decent human conduct.

I am writing these notes in Budapest. There are copies of old secret police reports on my desk. The authors used code-names, but from some of the details listed in the documents, it is wholly apparent to me that many of these reports were written by some of my closest friends and collegues, who were snitching on me to their superiors at the State Security Bureau in the 1970s. The reports were written about me, about my activities, my projects, my contacts with fellow intellectuals and artists... and about my everyday life, my marital problems, my habits, my state of health. It took a quarter of a century, before I learned that the people I trusted most in my youth were faking friendship on the orders of the secret police.  All those years, even during my exile, I've remained in close contact with several of these 'old friends'. Now , here at my desk, staring disbelievingly at this great pile of reports, I am fighting nausea.

Budapest is one of the most picturesque capitals in Europe. It is home to about 2 million people and accommodates several hundred thousands more during the day, all those who commute from the surrounding towns to work in the city. My window looks to the Danube. The color of the water is grayish-brown. 70% of the Hungarian capital's raw, untreated sewage still goes directly into the river. According to recent tests, the Danube is heavily polluted for its entire length in Hungary. The quality of the water is as of diluted sewage. It contains a wild array of polluting materials, among them oil, tar, dangerous chemicals, heavy metals and large quantities of fecal matter. Drinking the river's water, or swimming in it, can cause cancer, chemical poisoning and many kinds of viral and bacterial infections. It is forbidden to swim in the Danube in Hungary. I now see signs posted at my favorite old swimming spots, which advise people not to touch the water. At the end of the 1970s, when I was forced to leave the country because of secret police harassment (not knowing if I would ever see my family again), the river was still clean enough to swim in, even in downtown Budapest. The Neo-gothic Parliament building is situated right on the banks of the Danube. The conspirators inside the jewel-like building don't seem to care about the deadly filth that floats right under their windows. As ever, they are still busy with spy games.

Laszlo Najmanyi

*  *  *  *  *

Notes: Mr. Peter Medgyessy was replaced as a Prime Minister, by Mr. Ferenc Gyurcsany, since I wrote this article, on August 10, 2002. The new Prime Minister of Hungary is also from the old communist nomenclature. The reason for Mr. Medgyessy replacement was not his secret agent past. He was replaced, because his Socialist Party's coalition partner, the Association of Free Democrats lost faith in his ability to govern. No resolution about the agent-problem was passed up until now. The government is again promising a new law, which would make the old secret-police documents and agents-lists available for the public, by March, 2005.

Budapest, February 2, 2005
LN

A few days ago a book of 700 pages was published by the once 'alternative', now government controlled Magyar Narancs magazine. The book contains reports on Hungarian rock musicians. These reports were sent to the Communist secret police by snitches. The reports were published without the consent of the 'target persons'. The profits from the book's sales go to the journalist, who 'wrote' the book, and to the publisher, of course.

May 23, 2005

The Parliament did not pass the promised new law up until this date. No official agents-lists, nor the old secret-police documents were made public as yet. The reports, which the snitches wrote to the Communist Secret Police, documents containing often incriminating details on Hungarian citizens' private lives are still freely available to 'researchers'  (who could be collecting past-information to different government agencies), to journalists (who are looking for sensation) - and to criminals (who are digging for incriminating evidence in somebody's past, by which information they could blackmail their victim). None of the four parties currently in the Parliament seems to be keen on passing the so-called 'Agent-law'. Obviously, the idea is to delay the passing of the long-awaited law until the last of the former agents dies. The media - filled with former snitches and secret police agents, - does its best to dwarf the problem.

October 17, 2005
LN

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More English language writings:
Censorship 21
Ms. Beekman and the Milleneum
Kevin McMurphy's Testament
On God's Orders
DJ NoMore's Blog

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Originally Eric wanted to cum in both of us, at the same time, exactly at midnight, for he was sure that only females would survive "the coming Judgment". He knew he'd die in the Apocalypse - this guy did some bad things, believe me - so he wanted to plant his seed in both of us, just to make sure that his bloodline would continue. But then he thought that Gloomie would stand up to the radiation better than I. He was certain that the radiation would significantly grow, as God would want a castration of all males before finishing them off with laserguns. He thought that laserguns, mounted on satellites would be aimed at each of the males. He came to think, that Gloomie, who grew up, like, under the relentless tropical sun in Columbia, had more chance to survive the radiation than I do, because I grew up in, like, an air-conditioned environment, in Las Vegas, and have never ever actually like spent time in sunlight. That's why he’s changed his mind at the last minute, and decided to cum only in Gloomie, and sent me for his camera just before they've reached orgasm.

The problem is, that his watch was, like, late, I guess. I was still in the kitchen, looking for the camera and my whip, when the wave hit the house, like, right before Eric was intending to cum.  I mean, bad timing.  When I got to the balcony with the camera and the whip, they were both, like, gone, even though Eric had previously handcuffed Gloomie to the railing.  The railing was gone, too. And the balcony was not straight anymore. It was dangling at a crazy angle over a steamy mountain side. It was a volcano, this mountain that the house was thrown at. And, like the thing blew, just as the wave washed into the crater. I mean this is serious. I was, like, hanging at the balcony's door with the camera. The electricity went out right away. Oh, the gekko ate my last candle. Now it's definitely dark in here. There are snakes and spiders here, too, - not all of them dead.  And the flashlight doesn't work worth a shit. Cheap fucker, Eric.

I've decided to send this message out over the net, as an mpeg video file, to you, Erica, in Sedona, and you, Bruce, in Reno.  I just want to let you know, that I am fine, and I am going to make it, because I am from Las Vegas, and because I am a Beekman girl and I am not a loser, and I am not a sucker and I am not a wimp, you know. I mean, like, fuck it. That fucker promised me, like, in writing, not once, but on, like, four different occasions, that he is going to impregnate me before he dies. And there was no pressure on my side, none, nil, zilch.  Believe me.  Now he is dead, as a doornail and I am certainly not pregger. Neither is Gloomie, thank God. I mean, that sperm is mine. It is going to be my kid, you know what I mean?  Christ!  It’s going to be an American kid, a delinquent cruising the ave. That kid is not going to walk, like, barefoot in the sun, honey. She is my kid, and no Colombian, no volcano nor high seas can take her away from me. That girl is my child and when she fucks a dick I will feel it in my snatchbox, no matter how old I am or where I might be. You know, what I mean? Yessiriebob.

I am going after him and I am going to get that fucker, Eric. And when I get him, dead or alive, I am gonna make him cum, like, right into my punani, trust me. He’s not gonna get away with what's, like, mine. I mean mine. Jesus Christ!. That sperm, like every last drop of it, is Sandy Beekman’s property. Mine. I like Eric's sperm, that’s all there is to it. It tastes good and the man's got a hard body. I mean the hardest on the Strip, best suit in this town.  He's got a mind, too. This guy attracts money like magic, believe me. And his karma is encoded in his sperm, the Swami has told me, back in Poona. I am gonna get it back, because it's mine.

Damn. This here thing says that the batteries are about to die out. So, I just want to say hello to you, Bruce and Erica, and to my dad in Belmont and to my Mom in Florida. I love you Dad and I love you Mom. Bruce, please tell Mr. Cohen that I'd back at the office by Monday, but I've got some family problem, like a birthday or something. Anyway, I hope you are all A OK and have a lot of fun at midnight, your time, which is four hours from now. I'll call you when I get back to Vegas. Love ya!  Sandy.  Bye!

September, 1999

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The writing was recorded, as a monologue, performed by Saydee Brooker, on the now defunct netstageone.com, the world's first, entirely Internet based theatre, in January, 2000.

I am the only person left from the entire crew. Please relay to my family in Kansas, that I am OK, hanging on. I am sure that the rescue guys will come get me soon. They better do so, because Colonel Rowland was predicting a second big wave, due to hit the region within four hours, to be followed by a series of increasingly smaller, but faster waves. Colonel Rowland spent months analizing seizmographic data, before he came to a conclusion, with regards to the timing and strength of the coming quake. The quake, he thought would originate from the Mariana ditch. It would trigger tidal waves of unimaginable sizes. The first wave would encircle the globe with such force and speed, that it would hit all the continents within the span of twelve hours. He thought the first wave would be the biggest in natural history, possibly taller, than the one triggered by the meteorite, that created the Bay of Mexico. He codenamed the wave Arthur, to pay hommage to his favourite conductor, Toscanini.

It was just before Christmas, when he concluded his report and forwarded it to headquarters, asking for immediate action. No reply has ever came to his report, even though he has sent several followups and memos to the attention of different key persons within the network. As a matter of fact, his report's arrival wasn't ever confirmed even by the Reception. Colonel Rowland knew he was right with his prediction and was deeply disturbed by the lack of response to his urgent warnings. He placed innumerable voice messages to Headquartes and to the Department of Agriculture, to the Agency itself, but he could not establish direct contact with anyone in charge. He was always told by assistant personel, that they'll call him back.

Three days ago Colonel Rowland decided to fly with Miss Oakland to Headquarters in DC, to report personally, but the chopper broke down, so did our speedboat, so he could not get to the airport. We were trying to arrange transportation for him, by contacting department agents on shore. We were promised boats to come for the Colonel and Ms. Oakland, but no vehicle has actually came, in spite of the assurances we were given by the contact agents. A few hours before the wave hit, Colonel Rowland had the crew assembled on the deck. They even carried me up on a strecher. We were told, that we have been abandoned by the Department and the Agency and there is absolutely no chance that we'll make it past midnight. The only two things he thinks we can do now is pray and party, the Colonel said. So thought everybody.

First we prayed together, lead by Colonel Rowland. We prayed for our country, for our families, for ourselves. Then Colonel Rowland took off his uniform and opened dozens of bottles of the finest champagne from his personal collection. Ms. Oakland took off her uniform too. She is open to suggestions, she said and proceeded to give a blow job to the Colonel. Cutbert Wilson, our British security officer put some music on the PA system and we had an orgy right there, on the deck. Ms. Oakland was kept busy, so was the Colonel, who turned out to be bisexual, if not a hundred percent queer, like half of the crew. I was sick as a dog, yet managed to score four times. I was given a head my Michael Stratner, the cook, had my butt plugged by Sergeant Abdul Kemal, then I assfucked both the Colonel and Ms. Oakland. I was looking forward to more play, but first I got the runs, then I was starting to throw up blood, so they had to put me back in my bunk.

I got a bit better just before the wave hit. I was thinking getting up and go up to the deck to grab some more pieces of ass, but I had no time to actually make it out of the bunk. The force of the wave pressed me to the steel wall, then threw me back to the bulk. I hit my head and blacked out for a few minutes. When I came to, all the crew was gone. All that was left of them was Ms. Oakland’s underwear, which I put on my head as a trophy, as I was stroking her ass one last time. Thanks God my laptop and the satellite phone is still working, so I can send this document to whom it may concern. Fuck you all.

September, 1999

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The writing was first published on the web site of the world's first entirely Interned based theatre, the now defunct netstageone.com.

The face I am looking at belongs to George W. Bush, the American President. He came to my monitor from the state of Texas. He is a deeply religious person, he says. A born-again Christian. He is on a mission, he claims. He wants to free the world from the Evil, he says. He's got every chance to do so. The strongest economy on Earth, the most advanced science and the most sophisticated military technology, millions of well fed, well paid and well trained soldiers are at his disposal, along with unlimited amounts of money. His beliefs are strong, his conscience is at peace with himself. He firmly believes that he alone has the God given right to decide where and in whom the Evil is lurking. He, George W. Bush can name and point out the actual Evil and he can hit him anytime, anywhere, by any means he deems necessary. He has declared a world-wide state of emergency earlier, so now he is accountable only to God. He has a personal relationship with God's only son, Jesus Christ, George W. Bush says. God is not only an American, but a Texan.

God makes him do it. He sends his commands to the American President via his only son, the Bush family's personal friend. Talking through the mouth of Jesus Christ God now ordered Mr. Bush to start a new war in Arabia, where - according to the American President - the Evil currently resides. Mr. Bush was told to muster the world's strongest army. The assembled troops are to attack a desert country, which was already wrecked by another war, twelve years ago, an over a decade long, strict embargo and by relentless bombing of its defenses and industry in the past twelve years. God's word was that Mr. Bush's army must take over the country, depose or kill her defiant dictator (also a former family friend), change the political system and put an obedient government in place. The Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ told Mr. Bush that he must bomb Baghdad and Basra, along with all other cities of Iraq. He must bomb them day and night, in the name of peace, love, freedom and justice, for as long as he deems necessary. He must unleash tens of thousands of cruise missiles, satellite controlled, laser-guided bombs on them. He must shoot them with the largest guns on Earth. He must bombard them with radioactive projectiles, made out of depleted uranium, which will cause an epidemic of cancer, miscarriages and babies born with unimaginable deformities in the region, for decades to come. He can drop the world's largest conventional bombs on them too, but he shouldn't hesitate to use nuclear weapons either, if he feels so. His mighty tanks should roll over any opposition. Factories, power stations, water plants, roads, bridges, Iraq's entire remaining infrastructure must be destroyed. Mr. Bush's personal army can blow apartment houses, churches, schools, hospitals to smithereens too , if it comes to that. Iraq's civil population is not considered a target, but the soldiers and their Commander in charge is not going to be accountable for the civilian losses, for the violent death and terrible injuries of hundreds, perhaps thousands of women, children and the elderly. Regardless of the number of civilian victims, their murderers won't ever get punished, not even at Judgment Day, said Jesus Christ to George W. Bush, American President.

The army's been mustered in the sand. Weapons are loaded, engines are running. The troops are standing at attention, waiting for the Leader's order to attack. I am looking at the face on the monitor. Is that Heaven in those eyes?

March 18, 2003